I keep having dreams of getting robbed or attacked by men. Nightmares. This past night I woke myself up because I was actually calling for help in my sleep. I've also jerked myself awake by flailing my arms in defense. This is a bit disconcerting.
I'm sure it has to do with the fact that I'm out of my comfort zone in Spain, and I'm more vulnerable here. There are more cases of theft and robbery here, and I'm at higher risk since I'm a foreigner. I've never actually been in any situation where I felt that I was in danger, but I guess my subconscious knows that the danger is there. My friends have had their things stolen, but not by any confrontation. And probably the dreams are triggered by stress, too. This is the second day of the metro strike and I'm getting a bit bored and restless. At least I have class today that I can walk to.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
¡Olé olé olé olé!
So at dinner this evening, I had a very interesting conversation with Lupe, my "madre's" sister. I came home from the game, and it was about 11pm. I knew they had dinner in the fridge for me, and they told me I should warm it up for myself.
(This conversation occurred in Spanish)
"We won 1-0!"
"Yay, how awesome." (They didn't sound too enthused, yet they usually are glad to hear about the games)
"Did you watch the game?"
"No, I don't usually watch futbol, only tennis. People get too excited about futbol. I am a godly person, and I want to believe in something, so I believe in God. I don't need to believe in futbol. So many people out there don't believe in anything, so they get so excited about futbol."
"Yeah, they do get excited about it." (I'm thinking, when did this turn into something about religion?!?)
"I like to watch tennis because it's an individual's sport, and there's not something large and grand to believe in." (And I think she was hinting toward the fact that many of her favorite players are religious themselves)
Granted, Lupe is a nun. She works evenings in the hospital, or visiting people and providing spiritual guidance. But this is the first time she's gotten kind-of preachy on me. It caught me off-guard. I hope she's not insinuating that I'm one of those hooligans who go around "believing in futbol" but at the same time, I'm not going to damn them to hell either. Very odd.
And as I was eating dinner, we got on the subject of Grey's Anatomy. It was on TV, and it was dubbed, and she was talking about how she loves the show so much because it's so human, with medicine and emergencies, and so she feels that it's a good show because it's so honest and human. (Has she been watching the recent seasons with all the lesbian talk and stuff? Has she noticed how incredibly sexual the show is? Does the contrast upset her at all? Does she make exceptions because it's fiction? Or does she find no qualms between her religious beliefs and the characters on the show?)
And then she was saying that on the other hand, House, as much as she likes the show, she hates that House is such an egotistical character, "malcriada" (evil) and he'd rather let the patient die so he could learn something than try and cure them. I was telling her how most people in the U.S. agree with her that House is a crazy egoist, but then the show is good because it highlights the other character's difference in character, how they're more caring and more human that House is. And her answer was basically "I like the show, but all doctors are that way, and if I had my way, I'd have a doctor that was caring and human, not an egoist like House."
I have to say this is the first time that I got anything out of my madre's that was a cultural/political view that was different than my own. I consider myself lucky, because this was just an interesting conversation for me. I know though that many of the other people on my trip have had their madre's express racist and homophobic views to them, which were incredibly out of line. I'm glad that Lupe only talked about egoist doctors and crazy soccer fanatics.
(This conversation occurred in Spanish)
"We won 1-0!"
"Yay, how awesome." (They didn't sound too enthused, yet they usually are glad to hear about the games)
"Did you watch the game?"
"No, I don't usually watch futbol, only tennis. People get too excited about futbol. I am a godly person, and I want to believe in something, so I believe in God. I don't need to believe in futbol. So many people out there don't believe in anything, so they get so excited about futbol."
"Yeah, they do get excited about it." (I'm thinking, when did this turn into something about religion?!?)
"I like to watch tennis because it's an individual's sport, and there's not something large and grand to believe in." (And I think she was hinting toward the fact that many of her favorite players are religious themselves)
Granted, Lupe is a nun. She works evenings in the hospital, or visiting people and providing spiritual guidance. But this is the first time she's gotten kind-of preachy on me. It caught me off-guard. I hope she's not insinuating that I'm one of those hooligans who go around "believing in futbol" but at the same time, I'm not going to damn them to hell either. Very odd.
And as I was eating dinner, we got on the subject of Grey's Anatomy. It was on TV, and it was dubbed, and she was talking about how she loves the show so much because it's so human, with medicine and emergencies, and so she feels that it's a good show because it's so honest and human. (Has she been watching the recent seasons with all the lesbian talk and stuff? Has she noticed how incredibly sexual the show is? Does the contrast upset her at all? Does she make exceptions because it's fiction? Or does she find no qualms between her religious beliefs and the characters on the show?)
And then she was saying that on the other hand, House, as much as she likes the show, she hates that House is such an egotistical character, "malcriada" (evil) and he'd rather let the patient die so he could learn something than try and cure them. I was telling her how most people in the U.S. agree with her that House is a crazy egoist, but then the show is good because it highlights the other character's difference in character, how they're more caring and more human that House is. And her answer was basically "I like the show, but all doctors are that way, and if I had my way, I'd have a doctor that was caring and human, not an egoist like House."
I have to say this is the first time that I got anything out of my madre's that was a cultural/political view that was different than my own. I consider myself lucky, because this was just an interesting conversation for me. I know though that many of the other people on my trip have had their madre's express racist and homophobic views to them, which were incredibly out of line. I'm glad that Lupe only talked about egoist doctors and crazy soccer fanatics.
hace mucho calor
This metro strike is seriously cramping my style. I live an incredible walking-distance from my job sites, and I don't even know the way on foot. The bus network is very confusing and I wouldn't even know where to look it up. And taxis just aren't a viable way to get to work. My bosses told me not to worry. So therefore I missed the sexual-health workshop today. The only one I'll be able to attend, seeing as it was the closing session, and kind-of a party, and therefore less formal and personal as the other ones. (I definitely understand the confidentiality thing, from volunteering at The Ear.)
Yesterday I met with Mariana about how she works with these ladies regarding sexual health and general well-being. She was very helpful answering the questions I already had regarding the workshops, and she seemed very interested in what I am studying, and how I told her I wanted to learn more about the FMP and how Women's orgs work. Mariana seems like an extremely kind-hearted young woman, and I think I want to be like her when I "grow up."
The more I think about it, the more I can see myself working in a Women's Rights Org. I was telling my mom about it on the phone; I am extremely and utterly grateful that the FMP and other women's orgs provide these resources for women. From the inter-cultural workshops that I always attend (that provide social areas for women), to the immigrant legal services, and the groups for health and well-being. I think these are incredibly important resources to have, and I can't imagine them not existing. Therefore, I think that I could feel extremely happy and useful if I were a part of organizing and facilitiating these workshops in a future career path.
Speaking of future career path and "growing up," I need to be honest with myself. I am graduating in 6 months. December. At the end of this year. These thoughts and speculations about future careers aren't just daydreaming. I need to actually think about this and get the ball rolling. I need to decide what I want to get out of life, and what I want to do with myself.
So far I think a viable option is for me to move to Washington DC when I graduate. There are a plethora of Women's Rights Organizations there that are international in scope, and I feel that my time in Spain has definitely helped me (not only with my Spanish, but living cross-culturally), and I would be able to sell myself to a prospective position. I would like to go there with a job already lined up, yet I do know that since I have so much family in the area (about an hour or so away) I would have a decent saftey-net while I try to set up a life. I also have a bunch of friends that live there from Elementary school. Man, that would be weird to call them up. "Hey, so yeah, remember when I moved away 10 years ago? I'm back! Lets have that sleep-over that we were planning way back when." I also adore the East Coast, and I miss how pretty it is.
It is currently very warm in my room. Yikes. And it's hotter outside. But if I really wanted to I could walk to somewhere air-conditioned and hang out, like Corte Ingles or BurgerKing. I'll have to think about it.
Yesterday I met with Mariana about how she works with these ladies regarding sexual health and general well-being. She was very helpful answering the questions I already had regarding the workshops, and she seemed very interested in what I am studying, and how I told her I wanted to learn more about the FMP and how Women's orgs work. Mariana seems like an extremely kind-hearted young woman, and I think I want to be like her when I "grow up."
The more I think about it, the more I can see myself working in a Women's Rights Org. I was telling my mom about it on the phone; I am extremely and utterly grateful that the FMP and other women's orgs provide these resources for women. From the inter-cultural workshops that I always attend (that provide social areas for women), to the immigrant legal services, and the groups for health and well-being. I think these are incredibly important resources to have, and I can't imagine them not existing. Therefore, I think that I could feel extremely happy and useful if I were a part of organizing and facilitiating these workshops in a future career path.
Speaking of future career path and "growing up," I need to be honest with myself. I am graduating in 6 months. December. At the end of this year. These thoughts and speculations about future careers aren't just daydreaming. I need to actually think about this and get the ball rolling. I need to decide what I want to get out of life, and what I want to do with myself.
So far I think a viable option is for me to move to Washington DC when I graduate. There are a plethora of Women's Rights Organizations there that are international in scope, and I feel that my time in Spain has definitely helped me (not only with my Spanish, but living cross-culturally), and I would be able to sell myself to a prospective position. I would like to go there with a job already lined up, yet I do know that since I have so much family in the area (about an hour or so away) I would have a decent saftey-net while I try to set up a life. I also have a bunch of friends that live there from Elementary school. Man, that would be weird to call them up. "Hey, so yeah, remember when I moved away 10 years ago? I'm back! Lets have that sleep-over that we were planning way back when." I also adore the East Coast, and I miss how pretty it is.
It is currently very warm in my room. Yikes. And it's hotter outside. But if I really wanted to I could walk to somewhere air-conditioned and hang out, like Corte Ingles or BurgerKing. I'll have to think about it.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
This week at the FMP
I am loving my internship. Between all my ladies and my research and the FMP, I feel like I'm seeing so much of the world of Women's Rights Organizations and NGOs.
I love that my ladies take so much care of me. They're teaching me to crochet (el ganchillo), they teach me songs in Spanish, and they always tell me how beautiful I am when I come in, even if there's sweat dripping from my forehead from the heat. They told me I need to buy my own fan like theirs (abanico), since Spain is unbareable without it. I'm beginning to believe them.
On the other hand, when I'm not doing the intercultural workshops with the ladies, I am in the FMP office at a computer doing research for myself, so I can get to know the FMP better and the world of NGOs better, or translating documents (like I mentioned before) or doing research for Julia. Also, this coming week I'll be investigating the world of Sexual Health within the FMP, because I am extremely curious given that this is a very Catholic country, even though a huge percentage of the people admit they never attend church. So I want to see if their catholic traditions affect the way they talk about reproductive health. On Monday I have a meeting with Mariana, to discuss with her what I want to learn, and then I think the week after they're starting a new session of classes, and I can then attend those. So cool. I'll see how it's taught and get to know new ladies. Probably younger ones this time.
I'm also interested in the more abstract applications of Feminism in Spain, along the lines of their fighting the Machismo culture. On their website (fmujeresprogresistas.org) they have an extensive page about how to avoid sexist language in Spanish, which I find really interesting because Spanish has all gendered nouns, and I thought then, would be inherently sexist. But it has more to do with using masculine generics, which does have it's equal in English. For example, we say "you guys" a lot, also "freshmen, chariman" imply a generic but use the word "man" and in fact makes invisible the identity of a woman. So, I want to talk to the ladies at the FMP who made the website, and talk to them about how they make pratical applications out of avoiding sexist language. I'm sure it has a lot to do with offical documents like job applications or government documents, too. So I'll be meeting up with these ladies next week as well. I'm excited.
I can't believe I am almost halfway through my internship! Not fair! I'm not ready to be done anytime soon. I still feel like I have so much to learn and to investigate. Wahhhhh. I also love my old ladies, and I'll be so sad to leave them!
I love that my ladies take so much care of me. They're teaching me to crochet (el ganchillo), they teach me songs in Spanish, and they always tell me how beautiful I am when I come in, even if there's sweat dripping from my forehead from the heat. They told me I need to buy my own fan like theirs (abanico), since Spain is unbareable without it. I'm beginning to believe them.
On the other hand, when I'm not doing the intercultural workshops with the ladies, I am in the FMP office at a computer doing research for myself, so I can get to know the FMP better and the world of NGOs better, or translating documents (like I mentioned before) or doing research for Julia. Also, this coming week I'll be investigating the world of Sexual Health within the FMP, because I am extremely curious given that this is a very Catholic country, even though a huge percentage of the people admit they never attend church. So I want to see if their catholic traditions affect the way they talk about reproductive health. On Monday I have a meeting with Mariana, to discuss with her what I want to learn, and then I think the week after they're starting a new session of classes, and I can then attend those. So cool. I'll see how it's taught and get to know new ladies. Probably younger ones this time.
I'm also interested in the more abstract applications of Feminism in Spain, along the lines of their fighting the Machismo culture. On their website (fmujeresprogresistas.org) they have an extensive page about how to avoid sexist language in Spanish, which I find really interesting because Spanish has all gendered nouns, and I thought then, would be inherently sexist. But it has more to do with using masculine generics, which does have it's equal in English. For example, we say "you guys" a lot, also "freshmen, chariman" imply a generic but use the word "man" and in fact makes invisible the identity of a woman. So, I want to talk to the ladies at the FMP who made the website, and talk to them about how they make pratical applications out of avoiding sexist language. I'm sure it has a lot to do with offical documents like job applications or government documents, too. So I'll be meeting up with these ladies next week as well. I'm excited.
I can't believe I am almost halfway through my internship! Not fair! I'm not ready to be done anytime soon. I still feel like I have so much to learn and to investigate. Wahhhhh. I also love my old ladies, and I'll be so sad to leave them!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
I found this interesting.
Yesterday, my boss asked me to translate a government document from English to Spanish. Sure! No problem. It was pretty cool, because it was an EU document. It made me realize how transnational my experience is becoming, seeing that I'm an American girl in Spain translating documents for the European Union. I mean, it's not a very important document, but they had versions available in English, French, and German, and my boss needed it in Spanish, so I got to help.
Today, she comes to me and tells me that I need to go back through it, and fix the way I worded things and make it make more sense to a Spanish speaker. She was telling me that nobody would understand it unless they also knew English, which would be besides the point, since there's already an English version. She told me we would go back through it, but it seemed as though at one point she was suggesting that I just try it myself, but really, my mind is still deeply rooted in English. I form sentences and make sense of things using English speech patterns, and I don't have quite an extensive vocabulary in Spanish necessary to know the official words, and apparently the ones I got off the website weren't the right ones. How was I supposed to know? She's definitely not mad or disappointed in me at all, she's a great boss in the sense that she definitely knows it's all a learning experience for me. It just kind of blows my mind when I think about how much a language is embedded in your brain and the way you think. And I haven't been able to switch to a Spanish Brain just yet, so therefore I couldn't make the document make complete sense to a Spanish speaker. I doubt that I will achieve a Spanish Brain while I'm here, but at least I have something to strive for.
Today, she comes to me and tells me that I need to go back through it, and fix the way I worded things and make it make more sense to a Spanish speaker. She was telling me that nobody would understand it unless they also knew English, which would be besides the point, since there's already an English version. She told me we would go back through it, but it seemed as though at one point she was suggesting that I just try it myself, but really, my mind is still deeply rooted in English. I form sentences and make sense of things using English speech patterns, and I don't have quite an extensive vocabulary in Spanish necessary to know the official words, and apparently the ones I got off the website weren't the right ones. How was I supposed to know? She's definitely not mad or disappointed in me at all, she's a great boss in the sense that she definitely knows it's all a learning experience for me. It just kind of blows my mind when I think about how much a language is embedded in your brain and the way you think. And I haven't been able to switch to a Spanish Brain just yet, so therefore I couldn't make the document make complete sense to a Spanish speaker. I doubt that I will achieve a Spanish Brain while I'm here, but at least I have something to strive for.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
ay ay, yeha yeha...
First, Pictures from Venice!
Okay so I am having such an amazing time here, I'm so happy and entertained and loving life so much, and I've been here a month, and I'm already freaking out about how I have to leave in 2 months. Why can't I just bring all the things I love about the US over here to Madrid?
I love my internship. I've been helping Julia to research facts about Spanish immigration, especially about women, given the current economic crisis. I'm not very good at finding these facts on the Internet right now, seeing as I can't seem to navigate their statistics database. I'm going to blame the language barrier. Also, during our workshops with the ladies, we've been going over Spanish grammar, because we've been trying to teach English classes, and Julia realized that many of the women didn't quite remember (or know at all) the difference between a noun, verb, pronoun, etc. It was interesting taking a mini Spanish grammar course with native speakers. We also went over spelling, because in Spanish there is no difference in they way you pronounce "v" and "b", they make the "b" sound. But I got all of them right, since I have been studying Spanish spelling more intensely than they have, and on top of that, I explained to Milagro, one of the ladies, in English there is a big difference between the b and the v, so I just know it in my mind, because my English mind definitely distinguishes between the two. This language thing is fascinating to me. It's getting so much easier for me to talk and understand, I hardly have to think of it.
The ladies are so nice to me! They help me learn how to crochet and make bracelets during the creative workshops. And they ask me about the U.S., and they help explain little cultural things to me.
Also, on a side note, I miss every single city I've been to. I especially miss Granada. And now Venice is creeping up on me, since it's been a few days. Every city has a character of it's own, with the people and the history. I miss being on the water in Venice. Granada was just so rich in history and beauty and just, something I can't explain. I know when I'm not in Madrid I miss it like crazy. I love this city. And we'll have to see what happens with Amsterdam now, too.
Okay so I am having such an amazing time here, I'm so happy and entertained and loving life so much, and I've been here a month, and I'm already freaking out about how I have to leave in 2 months. Why can't I just bring all the things I love about the US over here to Madrid?
I love my internship. I've been helping Julia to research facts about Spanish immigration, especially about women, given the current economic crisis. I'm not very good at finding these facts on the Internet right now, seeing as I can't seem to navigate their statistics database. I'm going to blame the language barrier. Also, during our workshops with the ladies, we've been going over Spanish grammar, because we've been trying to teach English classes, and Julia realized that many of the women didn't quite remember (or know at all) the difference between a noun, verb, pronoun, etc. It was interesting taking a mini Spanish grammar course with native speakers. We also went over spelling, because in Spanish there is no difference in they way you pronounce "v" and "b", they make the "b" sound. But I got all of them right, since I have been studying Spanish spelling more intensely than they have, and on top of that, I explained to Milagro, one of the ladies, in English there is a big difference between the b and the v, so I just know it in my mind, because my English mind definitely distinguishes between the two. This language thing is fascinating to me. It's getting so much easier for me to talk and understand, I hardly have to think of it.
The ladies are so nice to me! They help me learn how to crochet and make bracelets during the creative workshops. And they ask me about the U.S., and they help explain little cultural things to me.
Also, on a side note, I miss every single city I've been to. I especially miss Granada. And now Venice is creeping up on me, since it's been a few days. Every city has a character of it's own, with the people and the history. I miss being on the water in Venice. Granada was just so rich in history and beauty and just, something I can't explain. I know when I'm not in Madrid I miss it like crazy. I love this city. And we'll have to see what happens with Amsterdam now, too.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Hey Im in Venice! And I dont know how to use appostraphes on their keyboard! I also dont have spell check!
We rode a Gondola yesterday and it was so pretty and relaxing. A great way to see the city.
Today we went to Venice Lido, a small island with gorgeous beaches, so I got to swim in the Adriatic Sea today! This is so fun. I will most definitely post pictures as soon as I get home.
Today we got tiramisu, and I was sadly unimpressed. I need to try more =) Its my favorite food!
Running out of minutes on the hostel internet... bye for now! Ciao!
We rode a Gondola yesterday and it was so pretty and relaxing. A great way to see the city.
Today we went to Venice Lido, a small island with gorgeous beaches, so I got to swim in the Adriatic Sea today! This is so fun. I will most definitely post pictures as soon as I get home.
Today we got tiramisu, and I was sadly unimpressed. I need to try more =) Its my favorite food!
Running out of minutes on the hostel internet... bye for now! Ciao!
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