all good things must end.

The depression is setting in. I have 2 days left of work. My workshops have all ended, and now Julia and I are just finishing up editing my papers and I need to return books to some of my co-workers. I wrote about the workshops in Spanish for her so that she can correct me (even though my paper is all in English) and I thought I'd write some in my journal in English.

Upon first glance, one would think that the “intercultural workshops” were just a fun social time for old ladies, where they paint and crochet and make bracelets. At least that’s what I thought when I first went to them. But after a few more sessions, I came to realize that for some of these old ladies, it was the only social time they had. Also, even though they were old, between the ages of 40 and 85 or so, they worked with their hands and talked with people of different nations and different ages, and you could tell they thoroughly enjoyed the time outside of their house.

I miss Patro, she was one of my favorites, and also the oldest. When she talked, she had more than the Castilian lisp, she had a whistle. It makes me smile when I think of it. She also would wear crazy pins on her blouses that were obviously made by her grandchildren because they were so colorful and crafty. We often did reading out-loud for the ladies to work their brain and improve their memory, and I loved when Patro read, it sounded so sweet.

Julia also brought to my attention that some of the ladies had deep self-esteem issues, and these workshops were a place for them to talk it out. One day Julia brought in a new craft to work on, making tissue paper flowers, and she was demonstrating how to do them and some other ladies were joining in. One of the ladies that is originally from Mexico started to try it, and then quit halfway through, throwing the half-folded tissue paper on the table. Julia asked what had happened, and she explained that she didn’t think that she was doing it right, and if she couldn’t do it right, then she felt like she couldn’t do it at all. Julia made a comment to me later that so many of these ladies have so much pressure on them from their families and their situations that they become sort of perfectionists.

Sometimes a few of the ladies would cry during the workshops. It kind of upset me, but I think that they tend to be under so much stress and they hardly have an outlet, and when they come in a circle of women and start talking about their lives, it just releases. Other times they look extremely sad. Julia makes sure to start to talk to them about how at the FMP they offer free counselling and psychologists so that they could have someone to talk to more.

On Thursday mornings we would have a little bit of dance-and-sing time for the ladies, and it was funny how often they’d try and get me to come sing by handing me a piece of paper with the lyrics on it. I’d tell them over and over about how I didn’t know the tune, but they insisted I sing anyway. So I sang under my breath until I felt comfortable enough with the music. It was funny how much they would fight over what song to sing and what rhythm to sing it, and who would conduct and whatnot. They were a cute bunch. Also, one of the other volunteers would lead exercise a few times, like very simple callisthenics, so that the ladies could make sure they work their muscles and breathe correctly. One time we even did belly dancing, since the lady leading it was from Morocco, and that was a hoot to watch the old ladies belly dance. It made me laugh so hard.

We started out with about 15 ladies all together, but at the last workshop, only 6 or so showed up. In late July and early August, many Spaniards begin their month-long vacation to the various coasts of Spain. At our last workshop on July 29th, we took a picture. Belen and I were having a conversation that day about the U.S. and where I was from and how she has family there. She got mad at me at one point because she was describing her family’s vacation home in Philadelphia and how they had gardens, and I didn’t understand the last 2 things she said in the sentence. I asked her to repeat it. Then she looked at Julia and was like “She doesn’t understand a word I’m saying.” I was kind of hurt, and I tried to say that I just didn’t catch the last thing, but Julia explained it for me and then Belen tried again and I got it. Jeez. Then she was telling me that if I met anybody in the U.S. with the last name of Ortíz, I need to ask them if they know of a Belen that goes to la Reina de Casino workshops, “My sister will know what that is.” It made me smile.



After the last workshop, as a sort of good-bye party, we went to a nearby cafe. We walked into Cafe Guay, which translates to cool cafe. Yet Guay was trying to signify something else, seeing as the canopy was rainbow, and inside they had posters dencouncing homophobia and they had Madonna and MJ on the radio. I loved it. With my old ladies we went to a gay cafe/bar to get some cerveza clara (beer with lemonade, like a shandy) and chat. They didn't even make one comment about how it was a gay establishment. It's relatively normal here in Spain, they have their own gay district (Chueca) and I know the ladies wanted to go inside since it was air-conditioned. They had posters like rosie the riveter on the wall, and there were some gay couples also in there getting a drink. It made me happy to be there, to be in Spain, with my feminist old ladies and in a gay bar and nobody seemed to think it was anything out of the ordinary.

Romantic Love

Eva and Marina were doing their presentation and talking about the ideas of the prince charging in on his white steed coming to rescue the princess. "Some day my prince will come!" kind of thing, and how it is a lie. In Spain, they have a saying that everyone is a "media naranja" an orange-half and they're looking for their other half so that they can be complete. But Eva was like "We are not orange-halves. We are full people, and we shouldn't be living under the illusion that we need someone else to be complete. The idea of romantic love is a lie."

It's very interesting to me that they're spilling the beans about this myth to a bunch of teenagers. I'm not sure how much they'll believe her. I know when I was their age, or even like, 6 months ago, I wouldn't have believed her. I didn't want to believe her. But Eva was arguing that a lot of times women who are in violent relationships stay because they believe in this myth of romantic love. And that makes me sad.

But I definitely do agree that the idea of romantic love is a dangerous one. Take Twilight for example. One of my favorite things to argue about. Bella was living a passive ho-hum life until the day that Edward smelled her blood (aka stumbled in on his white horse and magically became obsessed with her) and through this and that they lived happily FOREVER after as immortal vampires. Young girls are reading these novels and watching these movies and they are just eating every little bit up. Of course they know that twilight isn't real because there are no such thing as vampires... but they don't realize that there's no such thing as an Edward. A Jacob is a little more believeable (because he actually likes Bella for who she is, not for something beyond her control.)

And finally, I wanted to talk about a shirt that Urban Outfitters is selling (but I found it cheaper on another website) from a brand called Married to the Mob, which seems to have a lot of shirts with statements about women and being sassy. I particularly like this one, and I think I will purchase it in the near future.

It finally makes sense to me that it really is what it is. "Romantic love was invented to manipulate women." I'm not sure if it was an incredibly deliberate invention, and probably occured over many generations of cultures, but it all seems to come down to the idea that women need to be passive and wait for a perfect man to come by, instead of working to find an equal partner who you work well with. Otherwise it's love-at-first-sight or "he's so dreamy" and there's not too much thought about how a relationship would really work.

I think I've finally personally been able to wrap my mind around this idea. And I'm glad. I will no longer be disappointed in relationships that aren't perfect or settle for less because I think that there's some stronger romantic attachment that outweighs a disfunctional relationship. Good deal. Also I think that shirt is really cute, too.

More about the movie workshop.

For Eva to prove her point more about how women are invisible as authors and artists with the group of kids she asked everyone to write on one side of the paper a famous author and on the other side a famous painter or composer. I was thinking "Ooh I know two women, I can do this. Author: Ísabel Allende, Painter: Frida Kahlo." The kids wrote down Mozart, Beethoven, and a bunch of other men. Some people did have a few women authors, a few other women artists. But Eva was like "Look, the majority of what you've mentioned have been men, and all European." But when she got to mine she was like "Wait! This is awesome. Do you guys know Frida Kahlo?" And only a few did. I was excited that I picked two non-European women, when I didn't realize that it was so hard to find them.

During the second day, Eva and Marina wanted to talk to the kids about Violencia de Género, o Violencia Machista (Gendered Violence). They gave the definition of gendered violence (as to diferentiate it from regular violence) as agression toward a woman by a man because he feels that he has the right to do so. It makes it become the psychology of the violence, not just that it's violence between a man and a woman. But the kids wouldn't stop bringing up examples of women who hit men, arguing that women can commit gendered violence. However Marina and Eva were arguing back and forth with them, trying to say that a woman does not hit a man because she feels that she has the inherit right to do so. It's not because she feels that she is superior to the man. It becomes other types of psychological issue. And the most interesting part about this was that there are a boyfriend and a girlfriend that are in the group, the Columbian girl and her boyfriend, and they always fight and argue in the class, and the girl often hits her boyfriend on the leg or on the head like "SMACK oh shut up! hahaha..." And she hits him kind of hard. And it's crazy that she was the one arguing that women can commit gendered violence. I wonder if in her family she does have a woman, like a grandmother or something, that doles out smacks every once and a while. I know that at least Marina is a psychologist, and she was saying that when women hit their children or grandchildren, it's often because of the hirearchy created in the family, and ultimately comes back to the agression of the man. Which I find to be a heavy statement, but I really don't know very much about it. I'd have to learn more, and I'm sure she's studied plenty about it as she works at a women's rights org and probably talks to women who are victims of domestic and gendered violence.

The columbian girl was on a roll when Eva made the statement that sex workers were all slaves, because slavery is selling oneself to another, and that is what prostitution is, and that many women are forced into prostitution for different reasons. Then the Columbian girl was talking about how one of her really good friends is a prostitute right on Calle Montera and that she loves her job and she does it for fun and for the good money. And Eva was like, "Well, your friend is SUCH an exception. I'm glad to hear that she wasn't forced into that for economic or worse reasons, but that is definitely not the case for the majority of women in sex work." And continued to discuss the idea. But the girl kept insisting that not all prostitutes are slaves. It was really interesting how she wouldn't let it go, just like she wouldn't let the gendered violence thing go.

But to be fair that girl wasn't the only one that was being all like "No, what about this?" and all that jazz. I think these kids are all at points in their lives where they're trying to figure out the world and they need to hear the rules but also the exceptions to the rules to get a better idea about things. It's good that they're argumentative and inquisitive about it, but we could hardly get anything done yesterday because we'd go on tangents arguing about rules and exceptions.

Talleres de Cine

So last Thursday started the movie workshop, where we somehow rounded up 14 kids, age 12-18, to come to the FMP so that they can learn how to make documentaries and movies under the pretense that they will be making documents about feminist issues.

The first day of the workshop, we talked entirely about machismo and sexism and gender stereotypes, and I was highly impressed at what Eva got the kids to say. First Eva asked the group to write on one side of a piece of paper, aspects of their character that they liked about themselves, and on the other side, aspects that they would like to find in a potential partner. Everyone said things like "I'm fun, and I'd like someone I could trust." or "I'm sincere, I'd like a kind person." So the point of the exercise was to show that men and women look for the same aspects in one another, it doesn't matter, everyone wants a good person. Then she asked the group to say what comes to mind when they hear the word "mujer" (woman) and then when they hear the word "hombre" (man), and we got lists like "home, sex, pretty, emotional, mother, wife, girlfriend" and "strong, machine, fear, work,...sex" respectively. The Colombian girl was like "If you're going to put 'sex' down for women, then I want it to be put under the man column." That's right, girl. The point of the exercise was that Eva wanted the group to see that we all want the same things from the opposite sex, what women want from men and what men want from women are interchangable, yet what we think of when we think of the opposite sex are not interchangable. Men aren't seen by society as those that belong in the home, and women aren't usually seen as strong. She was saying that these are stereotypes, and our society doesn't like to think that they're interchangable at all.

They were arguing about these stereotypes, and one of the boys from Morocco was like "Men do cry in real life. Not in front of people, and they'll never admit it, but they do cry." And then the Columbian girl and another girl from Spain were getting heated about how women are supposed to belong in the home because both of their mothers work, and they thought it was unfair that they had to work and also take care of the children. It was really cool to see how this simple exercise brought this out of a group of teenagers.

I thought it was rather intersting that on the first day we barely talked about movies or documentaries, which is why the kids came in the first place. We talked about how some movie trailers portray women as body parts, or always show them dressing and undressing (Pretty Woman) or they can show women clothed and as real characters like in suits(Silence of the Lambs). (Did you know that Pretty Woman is the most-viewed movie in Spain? People eat it up when it comes on cable TV so advertisers fight for commercial time when it comes on) Eva wanted to link the idea that the ways that movies portray women are often how we come to think of them in real life because of the influence of Pop-culture, and so the same stereotypes that they talked about were the ones that showed up on screen.

This might be the most interesting thing that I've gotten to do this Summer, and it's a shame that I have only 2 weeks to be a part of it. I'll be writing more on this.

my eye itches.

I have exactly 2 weeks left of my internship. It ends Wednesday August 4th. Woah. I have to move out of my apartment on Saturday August 7th, and my mom is coming in on Wednesday August 11th.

It all really seems so fast, but at the same time I'm ready for it to end. I feel like I've gotten most of what I can out of Spain and Madrid and this internship, I'm ready to take what I've got and build on it and move forward. I know I've accumulated so many new skills and experiences and whatnot, that I just want to put them to good use! I'm excited to use them. One thing I've got to say: after trying for 3 months to communicate with people in a second-language, I know that I will NEVER be nervous or ineloquent when speaking to a stranger in English again! I've got no reason to be nervous if I know the dang language. And culture for that matter.

We have a final exam in our Spanish-Business course, and I can't find the paper that we've been working on for the past 3 weeks. But I swear I never throw anything away... this is so frustrating! I hope my friends and I all took good notes and then we'll just have a study session one night. Probably over beer and wine, if I know us. But we'll get it done.

I feel bad for the people who "graduated" already (as in they walked but this was their last thing) because apparently their paper is due August 1st. I honestly could have graduated last semester. I'm wondering why I didn't. So much less money, and I'm already antsy to go out and do real things. I'm not afraid of the "real world," I don't need to hide behind the handicap of college anymore. But I'll do one more semester so that I can still be covered under my parent's insurance as a student. I'll take easy classes and work easy jobs.

"Say ole with them and you'll feel better."

My friends and I just saw an amateur bullfight, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I understand that coming from US culture I'm not okay with seeing animals get killed. But at the same time I understand that we eat meat everyday that is killed in utterly inhumane ways like blows to the head or slitting bellies while they're alive. So when a bull is killed in a bullfight it's out of respect and the animal gets to "fight", even though it's killed in the end, and then the meat is given to an orphanage. One of the biggest things though is that people go to watch it for entertainment.

I really need to let this sink in. On one hand, maybe the Spanish people are more conscious meat-eaters because they understand the animals that it comes from, when on the other hand Americans eat McDonald's everyday without giving two thoughts to where the burgers or the nuggets come from. And then we watch Super Size me and we're utterly disgusted. At least in Spain killing these bulls is an art form and has been a part of their culture for hundreds of years.

I feel like I need to do research on this, figure out how it started, what the debates have been, and where the debate is now. I also want to know how much Matadors get paid, how often they might die (this one lady that spoke English and Spanish was telling us how she saw a Matador get killed one time...) and try to see this as a whole. I think the worst thing for me to do is to outright hate it without trying to understand the cultural context.

I feel like it's a good thing that I waited 2 months into my trip here to go see one. I'm less likely to pass fast judgment on Spanish culture.

tra la la la la!

I now have a fan in my room! GLORY!!!! I unplugged my desk lamp so that I could have it plugged in full time, because otherwise I only have one free outlet, and I have to share that between charging my laptop, my phone, my camera, and then fan. Not cool.

Cheers to not waking up bathing in my own sweat anymore! Cute, I know.

Amanda's mom and aunt came to Madrid this week, and on Monday night they bought us so many drinks that they wouldn't let me go home at 2am, they made me and Amanda stay at their hotel. In the morning we were hung over and still dressed in all our Spain glory, but by Tuesday morning things were getting back to normal where people actually went to work again (so therefore weren't wearing jerseys like us), so walking out of the hotel wearing obviously last night's clothing made us look like the walk of shame. But we were staying with her MOM. Ha not worth the embarrassment.

Tonight we're going to take them to the cave bars "las clandestinas" which were where people sold booze during Franco's reign (think speakeasies), and they're small and cramped and really fun in there, plus the sangria's cheap. Lets see how it goes with Agnes and Ilene tonight!

spainsomnia

For some reason I can't sleep even though I was tired earlier today. It's 3:30am right now. Whatever. My boss said that she was worried that since there's another metro strike tomorrow that it'll be hard for me to get to work. :( I hope not. I like having stuff to do! Otherwise I spend too much money on diversions.

So! A new thing that Julia has added in to our workshops is a reading where we all take turns reading it aloud. Julia does it so that the old ladies can exercise their brains and have better memories, and she makes me read so that my pronunciation gets better. Last week we read about the Quakers and how they came from the UK to the US and they're pro peace and they promote women's rights, and so she segued into discussing the wage gap in Spain (It's something awful like women making 31.7% than men) and talking about how we need to fight for equality and such. Well, after the workshop Tita stayed behind, and talked to Julia. Tita's the oldest of our group at 85, and she was like "Why are we learning about an American religion?" Like she had absolutely no desire to think about America or other cultures, as if it were no use to her. Julia explained that some of the ladies find it interesting, and it gets them to learn about the feminist movement. I was surprised that Tita was like "Um hello? We're Spanish Catholics. I don't want to learn about American Quakers" since I was always under the impression that Americans don't care about other cultures but their own and they're ignorant and whatnot. And on the other hand, Europeans were much more open to it because they're surrounded by other cultures all the time. But I guess this is not the case.

Also, another lady took a jab at me and my Americanism today and I was rather taken off-guard. During the reading-aloud we were talking about the history of the feminist movement and how it started way back with roman philosophers and whatnot, and they write the centuries in roman numerals. I was already reading slower than the ladies and my accent was bad, but whenever I came across the roman numerals I needed help. I apologized saying that we don't use roman numerals as often in English so I have a hard time just recognizing them. The lady next to me, I think her name is Susana, was like "Julia" (not even asking me) "Why don't the Americans and the English use roman numerals? They're a part of history!" As in it was an insult to world history to not use a number system that you have to know math for just to read the numbers. I told her myself in Spanish that we do learn in school, but at the moment I was doing 2 different levels of translation, from roman numeral to regular numbers, to saying them in spanish aloud. Big numbers are especially hard in Spanish! I was miffed that she was like "Pff why don't THEY care to learn this part of HISTORY!?!" GIMME A BREAK LADY. Save it for our stitch-and-bitch sessions. (By the way I finished my first headband, now I'm making a purple one!)

It's interesting that these ladies come to these workshops because they could use the time and creativity and air conditioning. And since it's run by a feminist org, they get fed different cross-cultural/feminist things that they might not have come across otherwise. Julia knows when to argue with the old ladies and when to just laugh off what they say. But she did get into it the other day with one lady because she said that "Well men are stronger/do harder work so thats why they get paid more." Julia went off on her and was like "DON'T YOU SEE THAT'S A STEROTYPE!? MY MOM WAS A COW WRESTLER!" (or something like that) "YOU'RE A PART OF THE PATRIARCHAL SYSTEM THAT'S KEEPING WOMEN'S WAGES LOW!!!" I don't quite remember how the lady responded, but the situation was diffused. It's interesting to see how they interact.

is this real life?

Running of the bulls, I found a small tiny itsy-bitsy spot to put my camera through the fence to take pictures. I could see the bulls with my own eyes, but since my camera isn't very fast, all I caught was this one bull's leg on the right side of the photo.

The traditional outfit for the festival of San Fermin is all white with red scarves as accents. EVERYBODY was wearing this. It was so cool that everyone was in the same costume. At this point my outfit is clean, but people were just going around spilling wine on people, because well, that's the tradition.

When Spain won the World Cup, everyone went insane for hours. We took that picture in Puerta del Sol, and there were people crawling and chanting everywhere, in all the fountains, on top of all the statues, on top of the metro dome... insane! So fun!

On Monday there was a huge welcome home parade for the players, and they rode around on a bus so that we could take pictures and all chant "Campeones! Campeones! Ole ole ole!" with them. So cool. I saw those guys in real life! :D

That picture of the crowd in the street is the best way I can describe the fact that all of Madrid/Spain was in the street to see the team. As far back as you can see the street, those are all people. Through the shadows. Everything. So fun!

best WEEKEND ever!

I can't believe that not only did I just experience the running of the bulls, but Spain just won the World Cup, and I got to party in the Capital city with everyone. What a nerve-wracking game, but Spain finally got past the Netherland's goalie and scored 4 minutes into overtime. I don't think I've ever been, or ever will be, a part of a bigger celebration. People were lighting up flares and dancing and waving flags and I just don't even know how to describe the scene. How did I get to be here? How am I so lucky?

best week ever.

So let me start off talking about why work was so great this week. On Monday, Julia told me that there were some ladies in the other departments that were interested in showing me what they do, and that I should go see them on Wednesday. I was to meet with Marina, and I'd be sitting at a computer, doing my usual desk work of researching and translating, and then whenever a lady came in, we'd go help her fill out papers. "They're illegal immigrants, but don't tell them you know that." OOH YES! Secrets! So when I went in on Wednesday, there was already a woman there, her name was Isabel and she was from Nicaragua; she had immigrated all by herself, and she was looking to get a job in domestic service. I was so surprised how well the FMP can help her! In Spain, even if it's an illegal worker, they still have rights, especially when they know the right people to talk to. They have rights against mistreatment, rights to a (basic) minimum wage, and even rights to some vacation time. I did not know this existed. I wonder if the U.S. has similar protections, but these days it probably depends on the state when it comes to illegal workers.

I also got a chance to talk with Emilia, who is the head psychologist in the FMP who works with the sexual and mental health women. I asked her various questions I had written down, about the demographics of the groups (women ages 18-70+, immigrants and natives), why the women might chose to leave (they're satisfied with their experience, or they get jobs), and if the majority of the women knew their sexual, reproductive, and protection against domestic violence rights before they came (nope, majority have no idea). Then she asked me a lot about my experiences in women's studies, why I was here, what I wanted to do, and so on. We compared the different types of feminist platforms in the U.S. and in Spain, and we talked about my undergrad research and how I've been working a lot with movies and television and how they affect gender identities. She was super interested in my research, and she asked for me to send her my papers, which I did. She told me she wanted to practice reading English, and that she'd need a dictionary with her the whole time. Haha. Glad I'm not alone sometimes.

Finally, I got rounded up by two of the ladies that work in the communications sector of the FMP, Sylvia and Susana. They knew that I was interested in learning about sexist language and what the FMP does to fight it, so they sat me down and gave me their spiel. They talked about how they both have backgrounds in journalism, but none of their professors ever told them about avoiding sexist language in publications, and that they've had to learn it on their own, and it's a shame they don't teach it in the universities here. For their job, they edit many of the publications of the FMP and other NGO's to make sure that they use neutral language, instead of sexist. They said how a lot of times people criticize the work they do because they're just changing words. But as they explained to me, and I agree, that the way we talk and speak determines the way we think. I linked it to how the way we watch TV shows or movies also affects the way we understand and interpret real life. And if there are male generics that invisiblize women or negative connotations and images of women in the news we read or the movies we watch, then it's affects the way we think about and see the world. Sylvia also talked about how she'd love it if I could help them put a part on their website about sexist images of women in the media, which would go under her sexist language part. Heck yes!

So after work that day, I was feeling super excited about all of the things I had talked about, and on top of that, after class that day was the Spain vs. Germany game, and Spain won! My friends and I all went to a small little bar and crowded in the back room and drank beer and cheered on Spain. So amazing when we scored that goal.

Tomorrow my friends and I will be in Pamplona for the running of the bulls! I am so excited! Yet at the same time I know I'll be scarred for life if I see someone get gored, or worse, killed... But I mean it's a tradition all around Spain, and I'm going to the festival that started it all. So much history! And I'm here in Spain! I can't miss it.

Then, Saturday we're going to the beach at San Sebastian, which is supposedly the prettiest beach in Spain. From the pictures I've seen, I believe it.

Then on Sunday, we'll be coming back to Madrid so that we can be in the Capital of Spain during the World Cup Finals. We plan on going to the stadium with EVERYBODY to watch! I am so pumped.

What an amazing time for me to be in Spain. And I also feel incredibly lucky for how awesome the FMP is and how I might help them with their website!

i actually hate subject lines.

So I realize that I definitely have an attention span for Spanish. It gets rough sometimes. One day, Julia brought me to a meeting for EAPN, the European Anti-Poverty Network, and I sat in on their discussion/debate about the different policies of Spain and the EU regarding different ways they could eradicate poverty by 2020. It sounded mildly interesting, and for the first hour, I was doing relatively fine. Everybody liked to have long-winded monologues about what they thought, and I got used to the speaker's voice, and even though they were talking quickly and using more intellectual words than are in my vocabulary, I was able to follow. For the first hour. But after that, my brain just felt fried. I tried to concentrate on the Spanish and follow the discussion, but for the life of me my mind would not stop wandering to other mundane things, like the posters advertising the city pools of Madrid. Oh yeah a pool, that'd be fun. I wonder where it is? Is it free? I'm sure my friends would want to go. Wait, what? Poverty in Europe?. My brain would not let me pay attention to the "difficult" spanish, it actually hurt my brain to try and listen and understand or even translate.

Just now I was trying to read an analysis of the different sexual and mental health workshops that are put on all around Spain by the government to help the new immigrants know their rights and adjust. The first part of the study is about the demographics of the group, men vs women, their ages, the ages of those conducting the courses, the ages of those taking the courses, so on and so forth. I was doing well, until all of a sudden I realized bam, I couldn't take the intellectual stuff anymore and I had ceased to pay attention. Kind of like when you read a book and you get 3 paragraphs down the page and you realize you have no clue what the character is doing anymore. But that character was the Spanish government and how they help immigrants.

So I thought to myself, does this always happen with Spanish? Do I seriously have a time-limit of listening/reading/understanding? But then I remembered that there have been times when I am with my ladies and we're crocheting or making bracelets and talking, and I'll be there with them for four hours straight, and I can get through no problem. I definitely enjoy it, and I know I learn. I think it comes down to that the pressure's off, and I don't have to concentrate too hard to make sure I understand intellectual concepts on top of understanding their language. I think there may be a threshold of cognitive stress that I cannot cross. Maybe I could try and stretch it more often to try and expand it. It would be nice if I could not get burned out sometimes.

not my pink polka-dot camera!

I keep having dreams of getting robbed or attacked by men. Nightmares. This past night I woke myself up because I was actually calling for help in my sleep. I've also jerked myself awake by flailing my arms in defense. This is a bit disconcerting.

I'm sure it has to do with the fact that I'm out of my comfort zone in Spain, and I'm more vulnerable here. There are more cases of theft and robbery here, and I'm at higher risk since I'm a foreigner. I've never actually been in any situation where I felt that I was in danger, but I guess my subconscious knows that the danger is there. My friends have had their things stolen, but not by any confrontation. And probably the dreams are triggered by stress, too. This is the second day of the metro strike and I'm getting a bit bored and restless. At least I have class today that I can walk to.

¡Olé olé olé olé!

So at dinner this evening, I had a very interesting conversation with Lupe, my "madre's" sister. I came home from the game, and it was about 11pm. I knew they had dinner in the fridge for me, and they told me I should warm it up for myself.
(This conversation occurred in Spanish)

"We won 1-0!"
"Yay, how awesome." (They didn't sound too enthused, yet they usually are glad to hear about the games)
"Did you watch the game?"
"No, I don't usually watch futbol, only tennis. People get too excited about futbol. I am a godly person, and I want to believe in something, so I believe in God. I don't need to believe in futbol. So many people out there don't believe in anything, so they get so excited about futbol."
"Yeah, they do get excited about it." (I'm thinking, when did this turn into something about religion?!?)
"I like to watch tennis because it's an individual's sport, and there's not something large and grand to believe in." (And I think she was hinting toward the fact that many of her favorite players are religious themselves)

Granted, Lupe is a nun. She works evenings in the hospital, or visiting people and providing spiritual guidance. But this is the first time she's gotten kind-of preachy on me. It caught me off-guard. I hope she's not insinuating that I'm one of those hooligans who go around "believing in futbol" but at the same time, I'm not going to damn them to hell either. Very odd.

And as I was eating dinner, we got on the subject of Grey's Anatomy. It was on TV, and it was dubbed, and she was talking about how she loves the show so much because it's so human, with medicine and emergencies, and so she feels that it's a good show because it's so honest and human. (Has she been watching the recent seasons with all the lesbian talk and stuff? Has she noticed how incredibly sexual the show is? Does the contrast upset her at all? Does she make exceptions because it's fiction? Or does she find no qualms between her religious beliefs and the characters on the show?)

And then she was saying that on the other hand, House, as much as she likes the show, she hates that House is such an egotistical character, "malcriada" (evil) and he'd rather let the patient die so he could learn something than try and cure them. I was telling her how most people in the U.S. agree with her that House is a crazy egoist, but then the show is good because it highlights the other character's difference in character, how they're more caring and more human that House is. And her answer was basically "I like the show, but all doctors are that way, and if I had my way, I'd have a doctor that was caring and human, not an egoist like House."

I have to say this is the first time that I got anything out of my madre's that was a cultural/political view that was different than my own. I consider myself lucky, because this was just an interesting conversation for me. I know though that many of the other people on my trip have had their madre's express racist and homophobic views to them, which were incredibly out of line. I'm glad that Lupe only talked about egoist doctors and crazy soccer fanatics.

hace mucho calor

This metro strike is seriously cramping my style. I live an incredible walking-distance from my job sites, and I don't even know the way on foot. The bus network is very confusing and I wouldn't even know where to look it up. And taxis just aren't a viable way to get to work. My bosses told me not to worry. So therefore I missed the sexual-health workshop today. The only one I'll be able to attend, seeing as it was the closing session, and kind-of a party, and therefore less formal and personal as the other ones. (I definitely understand the confidentiality thing, from volunteering at The Ear.)

Yesterday I met with Mariana about how she works with these ladies regarding sexual health and general well-being. She was very helpful answering the questions I already had regarding the workshops, and she seemed very interested in what I am studying, and how I told her I wanted to learn more about the FMP and how Women's orgs work. Mariana seems like an extremely kind-hearted young woman, and I think I want to be like her when I "grow up."

The more I think about it, the more I can see myself working in a Women's Rights Org. I was telling my mom about it on the phone; I am extremely and utterly grateful that the FMP and other women's orgs provide these resources for women. From the inter-cultural workshops that I always attend (that provide social areas for women), to the immigrant legal services, and the groups for health and well-being. I think these are incredibly important resources to have, and I can't imagine them not existing. Therefore, I think that I could feel extremely happy and useful if I were a part of organizing and facilitiating these workshops in a future career path.

Speaking of future career path and "growing up," I need to be honest with myself. I am graduating in 6 months. December. At the end of this year. These thoughts and speculations about future careers aren't just daydreaming. I need to actually think about this and get the ball rolling. I need to decide what I want to get out of life, and what I want to do with myself.

So far I think a viable option is for me to move to Washington DC when I graduate. There are a plethora of Women's Rights Organizations there that are international in scope, and I feel that my time in Spain has definitely helped me (not only with my Spanish, but living cross-culturally), and I would be able to sell myself to a prospective position. I would like to go there with a job already lined up, yet I do know that since I have so much family in the area (about an hour or so away) I would have a decent saftey-net while I try to set up a life. I also have a bunch of friends that live there from Elementary school. Man, that would be weird to call them up. "Hey, so yeah, remember when I moved away 10 years ago? I'm back! Lets have that sleep-over that we were planning way back when." I also adore the East Coast, and I miss how pretty it is.

It is currently very warm in my room. Yikes. And it's hotter outside. But if I really wanted to I could walk to somewhere air-conditioned and hang out, like Corte Ingles or BurgerKing. I'll have to think about it.

This week at the FMP

I am loving my internship. Between all my ladies and my research and the FMP, I feel like I'm seeing so much of the world of Women's Rights Organizations and NGOs.

I love that my ladies take so much care of me. They're teaching me to crochet (el ganchillo), they teach me songs in Spanish, and they always tell me how beautiful I am when I come in, even if there's sweat dripping from my forehead from the heat. They told me I need to buy my own fan like theirs (abanico), since Spain is unbareable without it. I'm beginning to believe them.

On the other hand, when I'm not doing the intercultural workshops with the ladies, I am in the FMP office at a computer doing research for myself, so I can get to know the FMP better and the world of NGOs better, or translating documents (like I mentioned before) or doing research for Julia. Also, this coming week I'll be investigating the world of Sexual Health within the FMP, because I am extremely curious given that this is a very Catholic country, even though a huge percentage of the people admit they never attend church. So I want to see if their catholic traditions affect the way they talk about reproductive health. On Monday I have a meeting with Mariana, to discuss with her what I want to learn, and then I think the week after they're starting a new session of classes, and I can then attend those. So cool. I'll see how it's taught and get to know new ladies. Probably younger ones this time.

I'm also interested in the more abstract applications of Feminism in Spain, along the lines of their fighting the Machismo culture. On their website (fmujeresprogresistas.org) they have an extensive page about how to avoid sexist language in Spanish, which I find really interesting because Spanish has all gendered nouns, and I thought then, would be inherently sexist. But it has more to do with using masculine generics, which does have it's equal in English. For example, we say "you guys" a lot, also "freshmen, chariman" imply a generic but use the word "man" and in fact makes invisible the identity of a woman. So, I want to talk to the ladies at the FMP who made the website, and talk to them about how they make pratical applications out of avoiding sexist language. I'm sure it has a lot to do with offical documents like job applications or government documents, too. So I'll be meeting up with these ladies next week as well. I'm excited.

I can't believe I am almost halfway through my internship! Not fair! I'm not ready to be done anytime soon. I still feel like I have so much to learn and to investigate. Wahhhhh. I also love my old ladies, and I'll be so sad to leave them!

I found this interesting.

Yesterday, my boss asked me to translate a government document from English to Spanish. Sure! No problem. It was pretty cool, because it was an EU document. It made me realize how transnational my experience is becoming, seeing that I'm an American girl in Spain translating documents for the European Union. I mean, it's not a very important document, but they had versions available in English, French, and German, and my boss needed it in Spanish, so I got to help.

Today, she comes to me and tells me that I need to go back through it, and fix the way I worded things and make it make more sense to a Spanish speaker. She was telling me that nobody would understand it unless they also knew English, which would be besides the point, since there's already an English version. She told me we would go back through it, but it seemed as though at one point she was suggesting that I just try it myself, but really, my mind is still deeply rooted in English. I form sentences and make sense of things using English speech patterns, and I don't have quite an extensive vocabulary in Spanish necessary to know the official words, and apparently the ones I got off the website weren't the right ones. How was I supposed to know? She's definitely not mad or disappointed in me at all, she's a great boss in the sense that she definitely knows it's all a learning experience for me. It just kind of blows my mind when I think about how much a language is embedded in your brain and the way you think. And I haven't been able to switch to a Spanish Brain just yet, so therefore I couldn't make the document make complete sense to a Spanish speaker. I doubt that I will achieve a Spanish Brain while I'm here, but at least I have something to strive for.

ay ay, yeha yeha...

First, Pictures from Venice!



Okay so I am having such an amazing time here, I'm so happy and entertained and loving life so much, and I've been here a month, and I'm already freaking out about how I have to leave in 2 months. Why can't I just bring all the things I love about the US over here to Madrid?

I love my internship. I've been helping Julia to research facts about Spanish immigration, especially about women, given the current economic crisis. I'm not very good at finding these facts on the Internet right now, seeing as I can't seem to navigate their statistics database. I'm going to blame the language barrier. Also, during our workshops with the ladies, we've been going over Spanish grammar, because we've been trying to teach English classes, and Julia realized that many of the women didn't quite remember (or know at all) the difference between a noun, verb, pronoun, etc. It was interesting taking a mini Spanish grammar course with native speakers. We also went over spelling, because in Spanish there is no difference in they way you pronounce "v" and "b", they make the "b" sound. But I got all of them right, since I have been studying Spanish spelling more intensely than they have, and on top of that, I explained to Milagro, one of the ladies, in English there is a big difference between the b and the v, so I just know it in my mind, because my English mind definitely distinguishes between the two. This language thing is fascinating to me. It's getting so much easier for me to talk and understand, I hardly have to think of it.

The ladies are so nice to me! They help me learn how to crochet and make bracelets during the creative workshops. And they ask me about the U.S., and they help explain little cultural things to me.

Also, on a side note, I miss every single city I've been to. I especially miss Granada. And now Venice is creeping up on me, since it's been a few days. Every city has a character of it's own, with the people and the history. I miss being on the water in Venice. Granada was just so rich in history and beauty and just, something I can't explain. I know when I'm not in Madrid I miss it like crazy. I love this city. And we'll have to see what happens with Amsterdam now, too.

Hey Im in Venice! And I dont know how to use appostraphes on their keyboard! I also dont have spell check!

We rode a Gondola yesterday and it was so pretty and relaxing. A great way to see the city.
Today we went to Venice Lido, a small island with gorgeous beaches, so I got to swim in the Adriatic Sea today! This is so fun. I will most definitely post pictures as soon as I get home.

Today we got tiramisu, and I was sadly unimpressed. I need to try more =) Its my favorite food!

Running out of minutes on the hostel internet... bye for now! Ciao!

language barriers?

So I misunderstood my boss-lady (she's not exactly my boss... my supervisor. that's better) when she said that we were doing a conference today about inter-cultural topics. I though that we'd be going somewhere and having small discussions and listening to lectures and whatnot. That was not the case.

But I was not disappointed, because instead we went on a day-trip to El Escorial and the palace there with a bunch of the people that use the Casino de Reina resource center. I hung out with my ladies and some boys from Senegal thought I was super interesting, and then the Pakistani and Indian men all wanted pictures with me. Kind of weird. Yikes. But I loved hanging out with my ladies. Like I said, I can understand Spanish so much better these days.

The ladies got on topic of politics and "el crisis," and they started to argue about it, and they mentioned something about how so many people are over-paid while so many people are homeless and all that jazz, and they kind of asked me if Madoff was doing the same thing, and I said he might have been, but I told them about how Michigan is getting hit hard with the crisis because of the auto industry, and that Detroit is almost empty. Then Toni, the lady I was talking to, talked about how she saw on the news that LA and Miami have like super rich streets and neighborhoods but if you walk a few blocks away you find intense poverty. She was surprised to hear that so much of the U.S. is like that. I was surprised to hear how socialist their ideas were. Not that it's bad, but we really wouldn't hear that stuff in the U.S.

Also, an interesting cultural exchange was to explain to them that as an "Americana," I don't have really any culture or traditions, given that everybody was once an immigrant, and my heritage is Polish, Irish, and German. They were surprised to hear that after 4 generations (that I knew, at least) being int he U.S., we hardly have anything passed down to us besides some religious traditions. People kept asking me where my parents were from. "Son de los Estados Unidos." They don't know the states, so it would have been useless to be like "Oh my mom's from Maryland, my dad's from Oklahoma." As far as I can tell, everyone here is either a new immigrant, or can trace their heritage as Spanish back years and years. They were surprised to hear that I really didn't have a "culture," and I guess this is why I love to explore Spain so much and look at their history.

It has been a while.

So I tried to start my internship last week, and I went in on Monday to read some material and get to know FMP (el Federacion de Mujeres Progresistas... the Federation of Progressive Women) and by Monday night my throat was so swollen that my glands were almost touching and it hurt to swallow. The doctor said I had strep throat. So then I didn't go in Tuesday, or Wednesday, and then the office was closed Thursday and Friday for Corpus Cristi.

For our vacation, we went to Granada and Malaga in the south of Spain, and they were wonderful. As much as I loved going to the beach in Malaga, and swimming in the Mediterranean for the first time, Granada was so much more incredible. We walked through the cathedral in Granada, and it was so beautiful. We also made it to la Alhambra, which is a really old fortress/palace on top of a hill that has incredible middle-eastern architecture and designs. So much history and beauty in one spot, something we really don't have in the U.S. That's our beach in Malaga. The picture with the fountains is the Generalife by la Alhambra. So gorgeous. Imagine the ancient parties they had there.

Today at "work" I looked more at the organization of FMP, and I read a lot of their books that they've put out for public education on various subjects, on issues from sexist language (sexism in the Spanish language, which is incredibly interesting because all of their nouns are gendered), to relationship violence, to educating the youth about sex-trafficking issues trata de mujeres con fines de explotacion sexual "the treatment of women with the aims of sexual explotation" through a comic book. It blows my mind how much ground FMP covers and how well they work to be the liasons between different women's groups and the government, and other agencies, such as immigrants and whatnot.

I've also attended a few "talleres", workshops, that they put on for the women in the community, mostly the older women. Tuesdays it's social craft time, and Wednesdays theres a technology workshop, and then an hour of English, where they're happy to have me. My Michigan accent comes out real strong then though, cuz sometimes these ladies can't pronounce the words the same as me, and I realize that I'm skipping my t's and butchering my dipthongs. Woops. Next time I've decided that I'll say the words with a Brittish accent.

Tomorrow I'm going on a day-trip with the FMP to go to a sort of conference "discusiones" as they called it, on various topics and whatnot. I would love to just sit and listen and learn, because I'm still not confident in my speaking Spanish as much as I'd love to be, but no matter what I'll put my best into it, because I want to get the most out of it. Plus they're going to feed me all day :) And I really want to save money because vacations are expensive, and this weekend I'm going to Venice! I'm so excited.

Today I realized that Spanish has kind of clicked in my brain to a point where when someone speaks it to me, I automatically understand, and the level of translation is gone. It feels awesome. My speaking is a little farther behind though, because I don't have the extensive vocabulary just yet and I find that I can express myself up to a certain point, but when I don't know a word my brain stops and wants to say it in English and then poo.

And now, pictures.

In Granada, you can see the Sierra Nevada, and palm trees. Crazy beautiful.














If you turn your head to the side, you can see the beautiful altar of the chapel in Granada.
Also, la Alhambra had so many beautiful details in the windows and the tiling. The Alhambra is on top of a huge hill. That's from like 20 feet outside of our Hostel. Nice view, eh?

There's gotta be an easier way to do picutres on here. Oh well.

Time for sleep, I have to get up early for that conference tomorrow.
I'm going to try and post more often now that my internship is really starting. Yay!

This is going to be a short post, without picutres, because I'm tired.

I find it weird that a Spanish woman, about 62 years old, that I've known for 11 days, washes my underwear. Wow. Kinda intimate, no?

Also, there is a severe lack of antibacterial soap here. I mean, even in my house here we have bar soap for washing hands. Is that stuff sanitary? I want to know. I mean the stuff we take for granted... dang Good thing I brought hand sanitizer when out and about. Jeez.

Jk this might be a longer post.

Today I had my "interview", which really wasn't. I met with the woman that I'm going to work closely with, her name is Julia, and we talked about my availability and what I want to do and whatnot. It seems super cool at her office. She showed me around. She talked really fast and I'd say I understood about 95% of what she said. Not too bad. I really hope/ I know I'll learn more Spanish. I'm excited because in a few weeks I'll be going with her and other people from el Federacion de Mujeres Progresistas to an all-day conference. I hope I'll learn alot and learn new prospectives about the ways that Spanish Women's Rights gro6 work. It feels so preliminary right now, but I am so excited for this.

Ugh bed time now. P.S. it's almost 1am here. Not sure what the blogspot clock will say. Probs 6:40 or so.

Buenas noches.

Me duele la garganta.

What a week.

It's crazy to me to think that I left home a week ago, because I feel as though I JUST got here, but at the same time, I know some places and these people so well, it feels that we've been here forever.

First, I have to say that the nightlife is INCREDIBLE. I heard a rumor from someone on my trip that the locals stay out till 6 or 7am and I was like WOAH. But it turns out that they have to because el metro (the subway) is closed from 1:30am till 6:00am. And really, if you meet your friends to go out at 11:30, or midnight, and the bars don't close till 6, you're gonna stay up and get the super cheap transportation home instead of paying for a taxi. The picture there is our big group (we have 22 in total) at la Plaza Mayor. In the day time, it's one of those classic pictures about Madrid with the statue of the guy on the horse, but we got there too late and you can't see him in the background. Oh well. Haha.

So Friday night of last week, and Saturday night, me, Lanny, Amanda, Allison, Eric, and a scattered number of other people in our group made it through the whole night, to get on the metro at the crack of dawn. We would start at small bars--our favorite is Casa Carmen in la Puerta del Sol (Where Juan Carlos and Jose work <3)-- and then we'd go to a few Discotecas to dance. It cracks me up that they're called discotecas. Discos! Helllz yeahh!

It was super funny to me (and eventually everyone else) that when we first started out at the first bar/club thing, we were talking in English, since we weren't yet comfortable with Spanish. But by the time we got enough drinks in us, we were talking to each other exclusively in Spanish. The way I can see/explain it, we were all the friends of yours who would start to speak Spanish when they were drunk, and tried all the time and you couldn't understand them, and they'd get super frustrated. Finally we were all drunk and in our Spanish glory. Haha. We already know that language skills are a lot more fluid when you're not as nervous, and that's exactly what happened.

We started classes on Monday, and I think they're really fun. We're at a small international language school, and man the teachers are awesome. They're really good at making you feel comfortable speaking. Except for my Wednesday night classes. The first one today was awful. 2 hours of this man speaking super slowly, we just did TWO activities, one for 1 hour and 45 minutes, and we rushed one in for the last 15. I was so mad and bored. I hope they improve. Next time I have to make sure I sit with mis mejores amigos.

I love the metro. At first it was intimidating, but once I figured it out, it's so easy! The only thing I have to complain about, however, is that when I have to transfer to go to school from my apartment, I have to climb down 5 flights of stairs, get on the metro, and when I get off, climb up 4 flights to get to the street. Exhausting! Especially if I'm running late like the past two days.

Oh yes oh yes. El parque Retiro. It has got to be the most beautiful place that I have ever been blessed to spend time in. It is so large and green and gorgeous, and there's a lake in the middle where you can rent boats and there's a big plaza, or place to sit, and I am amazed every single time we go there. We love to sit on a patio by the lake and get beer, wine and sangria all day (The picture is us paying for the bottle of wine in "pocket change"... they have 2 euro coins... not as cheap as you think). Well not all day, just after class and then until dinner. It is such a beautiful fun place, I wish I could bring all my friends and family and share it with them.

Pues, voy a acostarme, porque pienso que tengo un refriado a causa del polvo. I'm going to bed now because I'm pretty sure I'm having a reaction to the allergens from the trees. My throat hurts.

Soooo so so much fun. I love this, I'm so glad I have this chance. Sometimes it still blows my mind that I'll be living here for 3 months. This week has been awesome already.

I apparently left my white scarf at home. BOO.

So lunch today was definitely an experience.
I walked in to a little bar that is right down the street from my apartment and I sat at the bar. The bartender/owner dude was super cute and asked me where I was from "Ah, Michigan! It is a beautiful country. I've never been there, but it is very beautiful." Later he asked me how much I liked Obama, so I figure he knew it was in the U.S., but it still caught me funny at the time.

I asked for the menu, and it was a daily hand-written menu. I couldn't quite read his hand-writing, plus it was in Spanish, so I got what sounded familiar "Pallella Mixta." I had heard all about pallella in Spanish classes, so I thought, what the hey. I also ordered a Cruzcampo beer, which he told me was brewed in Sevilla, where he is from. And he gave me a few olives as a tapa! Yum.

I honestly don't know what I ate today. The pallella was mostly rice, and it had mixed meats in it, I'm guessing it was squid and clam and chicken and what? It was good though, I ate a good deal of it, but I was still confused. Also he gave me a piece of quiche, which he explained to me was like a French pizza (hmmm, I never thought of it that way) and I don't know what was in that, either. At one point it tasted like sausage, but I can't be sure.

After it was all over, I realized I had successfully gone to a hole-in-the-wall Spanish restaurant for lunch, with their multiple courses and whatnot, made friends with the owner, spoke some Spanish, some English, and asked the man next to me about the tipping policy. I was mildly proud of myself. I haven't seen my MSU crew since getting on my shuttle around 10am this morning (Spain time, 4am EST time) and I realize I am fairing quite well in a foreign city with a foreign language relatively on my own :) Who knew!?

Oh yes, the picture of my room!

I can almost touch both walls with my fingers outstretched, width wise. But it is a very comfortable room. I'm glad I brought family pictures with me from the wedding, and the one of me and Brandi and Mattie from Mattie's 80's birthday party. Good times.

I really was nervous earlier today, being so far from home without such a big saftey net, well as big as I'm used to. Plus the language thing is hard. In everyday conversation it's glaringly apparent that I don't know a lot of vocabulary, and that my grammar could use some work. But after a few hours or so, visiting the school, taking a nap in my bed, eating dinner with my host family, I feel so much more at ease, and I feel more connected to everybody (skyping with my mom and Dad probably helped).

I am FINALLY here in Madrid, after so much planning and waiting, and I can be sure that this summer will be awesome.

Yikes

I got about 2 hours of sleep, at most on the flight. The first flight to Philadelphia was a breeze. Super quick. Then the 7 hour 40 minute flight started with a whole hour taxi-ing, which sucked. But what was AWESOME was that we each had our own tv screens, you know... where is the question mark key... um....? found it. Anyways, I got to watch two episodes of Flight of the Conchords, laughed my butt off all by myself, then went to sleep, then quit trying to fight my head falling over on the seat, then watched the Blindside, and then all of a sudden the sun was coming up. Ugh. I´m tired right now, but I want to try really, really hard to stay awake until this evening so that I can get back on a normal sleep schedule.

My host mom is super cute and nice, my room is SUPER TINY but cute, I learned to ride the metro effectively (so effectively that two British tourists asked me for directions! ha! i´ve been in this country for 5 hours and i successfully told you how to take the metro to the airport. WIN.), WHY THE HECK AREN´T THE STREET SIGNS CLEARLY POSTED ON THE STREETS IN MADRID PLEASE? I swear I have to keep asking people because so far I haven´t seen the street signs in the same place twice. And I successfully located the international school, seeing as I am here currently using the internet. I supposedly have weeefeeee (wifi, but in spanish) at my apartament, but we´ll see. This constant Spanish thing is hard.

The exhaustion is setting in. I just had a glass of orange juice (jugo de naranjaaaaa) and it was delicious and gave me a bout of energy but really, I feel a severe crash coming on. I should probably eat a real meal, buy a pay-as-you-go cell phone, perhaps a full outfit of leather (these women are so fashionable, i´m wearing a blazer and I feel like a slob), make my way back on the metro to my apartment, and get some sleep. I´ll fix my body clock when I don´t feel like I´m about to fall over.

t-14 hours until takeoff

I have gone through hell this evening running around my house trying to find my camera charger. "What the hell good is a camera in Europe if you can't charge it once it runs out of batteries?" Luckily my mom found it. It sucks to move and then pack for a trip. I hardly knew where anything was anymore.

Then, I had a rough time getting new music for my ipod. A few months ago I stepped on my laptop, and after a few weeks the screen went kaput and now I can't access my itunes library, and I've just had to stick with what was already on there. But I can't image spending a total of 9 hours on a plane without any new music. So my awesome brother-in-law has fixed up my netbook to work with my ipod, and Brandi was a sweetheart and sent me a bunch of new music. I will be a happy camper. As long as I don't get motion sick. Yikes.

So the flight is 1:50pm tomorrow. I'm glad that I'm on the flight with Lanny and Amanda and Allison and other people in our program. Then I get to meet Mari and Lupe on Thursday morning. I'm nervous, but excited too. This is really the first time I've been nervous about this thing. I wonder if I'll be able to sleep tonight.

I'm keeping this travel blog for my MC 401 paper, for my field experience. I need to track how my work and research is going while I'll be abroad. I'm so excited for this opportunity, and I mean I love to journal, too. I love to look back later and see what I've learned and how far I've come.

As for now (it could change if they don't like me, or if I don't like them) I'm going to intern for el Federacion de Mujeres Progresistas (Federation of Progressive Women). I have no clue what my duties might be, but I can be quite sure that it won't be simply filing or whatnot.

I honestly can't believe that I have this opportunity. Months ago, probably around November, I vowed to myself that I was going to get out of East Lansing/Michigan for this Summer. There was no way I was going to let life keep happening to me the way it was. So I took charge. But STILL I had no idea that it would take me to Madrid, Spain for 3 months! How incredible! I feel so blessed and lucky to have this opportunity, and I hope and pray that I will put all I can into this experience so that I will get the absolute most out of it as well. :)